bye 2007

People will usually come out with their new year resolution today because this is the last day of new year... as for me.. i cant help but to feel lonely today.. i miss dear so much.. it seems like the 2 weeks are passing very very slowly... i miss him so much... kinda feel lost without him.. why?? i don't know either.. dun feel like putting on make up today.. dun feel like looking pretty today.. what a disappointing last day of the year...

A late Xmas

If anyone ever asked me what is the best Xmas gift i had ever received, i would have replied its this late Xmas card. WHY? I was so down and disappointed this week because my New Year and Xmas would be kinda boring as dear wasn't around for our first festival. BUT....

Yesterday i did not go for dinner with Adrian because it was Ming's farewell at his place. Ming is gonna return to Taiwan and this may be the last time i can taste his food!! ok, i am greedy. So to join in the "see Ming for the last time" action, i gotta postpone the dinner with Adrian again. Returned home real late yesterday night after 12 and decided to look at my CC bill when i saw this red envelope on my desk. It's obviously a card under the red envelope; the first thought that came into my mind was "Oh my god! Who's getting married??" I flipped over to the other side and observed the envelope with care when i saw the address at the corner, i smiled. Its dear's address, and why would he send me a card? I opened the card with care and read the content of the greeting card! It felt so sweet. Dear's card removed my fatigue and filled me with love. It broght back my memory to why he wants to post something at the airport and asked me to get some drinks from Starbucks. I didn't even know that he has a card in his bag when i was at his place while he packed it!

This is really sweet! i know he won't read my blog but i still wanna thank him for keeping my disappointment in mind.

New skin again!!

buahahaha!! Yes! I changed my skin again. Think i always have the tendency to change my skin super often. I am quite happy with this skin because i was the one who changed the font to my fav and the size to a big one!! What do you think of this skin?? nice??

Haha!! so tiring. Gotta go for a dinner with Adrian tonight and rush home to video call my POOH!! buahahaa!! ya, i forgot that QS, YX, SA and BH think that dear look like Winnie the Pooh. Especially after they met him in person, they think that he really resembles the disney character. Jie Jie also agrees after i told her that. I felt that he does resembles Pooh after staring at the Pooh sticker in the bathroom for 20 mins while i was bathing. Buahaha!! Can't wait till next friday when he return Spore. Though its just a short stay for probably 30 hours before he fly to Austria, i am still happy that i can see him after 2 weeks! Really looking forward to see him.....

Down on luck

Think i am kinda unlucky after i changed my job.. seriously wondering if it is my fault or is this some kinda message god i trying to tell me.. ever since i took after this customer, noting good had ever happened.. i'm always making mistakes and the irritating customeralways have different questions which i don't have the final answer... OMG! how can my dream job turn out to be a nightmare??? i have to endure it.. i told myself to bear with the long distant for 3 years and this is just 1.5 mths after i started my new job... i gotta hypnotize myself now..

i can do it.. i can do it... i can do it.. i can do it... this is my career... this is my career... this is my career... this is the right turn... this is the right turn... this is the right turn...

sometimes i really regret leaving SEZ... probably is because of the amount of money i am able to earn there... though my current work place pay me quite well.. but the travelling itself can kill me.. i don't mind coming to work early.. but i realized that i am not willing to stay long.. because the time i reach home will be very very late... ok.. for the sake of this job title and my future... i shall grab on to this job...

Haagen Das Foundue~

Hahaha!! the day before dear fly we decided to spend his haagen das voucher... so.. to prevent any troubles.. we decided to order fondue.. he wasn't particularly interested in chocolate... but to accompany his girlfriend.. he had to eat it... buahaha..

Monday blues

Oh.. can't get to sleep yesterday night... woke up every few hours just to realise that my throat still hurts alot... had a really eventful weekend.. went to ex company's DND and had a crazy night.. well.. lazy me still had yet load the photos to my lappy... procretinating again... met BH and YX yesterday for dinner!! BH is back!! yeah!! if there's no change of plan.. we shall all go club after QS mummy's birthday celebration!!! yeah!!!

Weekend

Oh...What a tiring weekend... had the family chalet last weekend and stayed on friday only... my back was so painful on staurday i cant even walk.. dear have to send me home at night... it was very fun and i was enjoying it until my camera has this "lens error" message.. got it changed yesterday... i just got it from the IT fair 1 week ago and it is spoiled now! Gotta sense it since the first day i on the camera it already prompted this error but was recovered until my fun photo taking session...

I wasn't quite happy on saturday as well.. i went to dear's place to meet him because we have to go to my aunty's place to pick up some things before we go Pasir Ris.. when we were about to leave his house his nephew shouted "jiu jiu (uncle), po po (grandma) said that your girlfriend very naughty. always come to our house!" i guess whoever who heard this would definately react the same way as i did... i treated it as nothing and was boiling in me.. WTF! i asked dear in the car if what his nephew had said is true and he couldn't answer me.. dear said i was very petty to be angry and indeed i am petty.. so what if i am petty?! don 't i have the right to be even angry at all?? i wanted to spend more time with him and is trying to accomodate into both our schedule... when he was studying for his exam i went to get him his camera.. Q for so long ignoring my aching back and brought him the camera... and since he like to watch soccer so much and to spend more time with him i would rather watch the boring games with him at the same time enjoy our wine and this is the comment i get in return?! OK FINE! i told him i will not go over his place anymore! and i told myself not even a dinner or stepping into that place! i am super angry with it... and since his mum doesn't like him to stay over at my place.. that shall be it.. it is not as if my mum likes me to stay at his place as well...

if u ever asked me why do i believe in this nephew.. well.. anyone should understand that children are usually very honest..and when he asked his nephew not to be rude his nephew said its true.. that's what dear's mum had said.. IF anyone who read this will not get angry with the above mentioned comment by my dear's nephew please let me know and tell me how i can stop being angry.. i am still boiling in me and i did told dear staight in his face yesterday that i will stop going over his place... so angry... i really fully agree with what CW had said bout women of this particular dialect!

Crazy Monday

Guess i was really mad to do this... Was asked out by J yesterday night.. guess what time i reached home?? its 2am in the morning!!!!!!! and after sleeping for 3 hours i gotta get up.. OMG! no wonder i did not react to the alarm clock!! Ya.. we went Wala Wala for a drink.. sorry.. not a drink is 4 JUGS of beers!! damn.. We had the first 2.5 jugs before CW (that's the only guy) joined us... Three girls got so high on beers.. and in case you are wondering how can we get so high on beers i can tell you its because of this stupid game that we played.. the rules of the game goes like this.. winner will get the next person to drink and if that round of guess you did not get it.. you will have to drink at every wrong guess you've made.. so we were stuck several times and drank alot...

Our second round was at Stanley Pub.. went there to sing and DRINK again... at the end of the day... we were really very very high.. and as my friends know.. i don't look nice whe i am drunk so... i controlled!! Buahahahaa!! Really miss those Bintan days when we are there doing nothing and playing around, not forgetting... getting drunk... Took some photos yesterday night but had not loaded it.. shall share after i load it ;p

Weekend IT fair

Thought my weekend will be bored without dear? Buahaha.. nope! i spent most of my weekend Q-ing at the IT fair... it was very very crowded during weekend... went on both Saturday and Sunday... ALONE.. suppose to get dear his camera on Saturday.. who knows the queue is so long that i have to queue for 1.5 hours just to get his camera.. and the blur me in the end checked the free gifts instead of the camera.. guess what happened? the gu gu man gave me Ixu 70 instead of Ixus 75! which is bout $60 difference... of coz my Ixus 75 is much more expensive.. that's whhy went to exchange it on Sunday.. but that is not the only reason why i was there on Sunday.. i went to get my camera as well... hehehehe... I was chosing between Nikon and Sony.. in the end... i ended up chosing my favorite and most trusted brand -- NIKON!! S200... ok.. not a very new camera but was a slimmer one comparing to S510.. saw S510 thickness i almlost cried... guess this is quite a cheap deal.. $339 for a camera.. the online price is $439... bauhahahaha!!! yeah!! finally get my own camera!!

Think i had quite a few new gadgets last weekend.. collected my free lappy on Friday.. got a webcam for both dear and me on Saturday.. the webcam was from Logitech.. well.. another brand i trust.. it is 1.3 megapixel with an inbuilt mic.. Guess i dun need the mic.. but the picture quality was not bad and it wasn't that lag... and with my new cammy.. i declare myself broke...

thursday!!

yesh! finally its thursday and tomorrow is friday!! going for dinner with Jason and Joanne later in the evening... but having stomach cramp today... considered 1st day of mensus... had spots yesterday evening.. so lets consider it as first day today.. great! next week my memsus will end!!! but i am in pain... and i miss him alot.. its thursday.. 1 more week and his exam will be over!!!!!!

i miss you~

Its only 2 days and i am starting to miss dear so much... ya.. anyone can say that we are still in honeymoon mood... but... we had been hanging out for quite some time before we start our relationship.. so by right.. this should not be the case.. anyway.. its still the same... whether its honeymoon or not its a good news that i miss him right??? buahahahaha!!!

I had decided not to meet him this whole week... reason being he needs to study for his coming exam next week.. i shall give him peace this whole week... and probably will only meet him after he finish his exam next week.. these few days i guess is nothing comparing to the 1 month which he will be away from Dec to Jan.. We will miss our first Xmas and NewYear.. Haiz... I am not really having any season mood.. probably because of my new job and dear going away for business trips during this period..... Dec is coming and i am working real hard to plan for his Xmas Gift and Bday Gift.. Valentines' Gift too.. OMG!!! All these events are so near to each other... Shit.. i am gonna be broke.. guess he is right to say that its better off to remain single.. buahahaha!!

wednesday mood

oohh.. noticed that i had not been blogging for bout 1 month... haiz... simply too lazy to blog.. had changed my job.. finally started at the new place.. CHANGI SOUTH!!!!! OMG!!!!! spent 4 hours travelling to and fro work...... yes i am crazy... i felt like giving up.. felt like asking mike if he still have that open position for me..... that was why i asked dear if i work in Tuas will he fetch me back for movie... he said probably will.. hmm... this sounds much better... certainly there are some reason i dun wana go to Tuas to work.. not for this moment... or rather not to accept mike's offer... i would like to work near my friends again.. but its just simply too difficult for the moment... i dun wana be invited to some unnecessary occassion....

I miz dear so much.... had not been clubbing for quite some time.. promised Joey that we will definately go clubbing when our budget is not that tight....

Crazy woman....

I was feeling rather crazy yesterday night after some beers and chivas.... not alot of it.. but i drank with an empty stomach it sent me to the hills.... it came across my mind on some question that i would like to know and i asked him yesterday night after i reached home... some girls will share my thoughts to whether their boyfriends are still in contact with their ex thus i asked him the same question... his answer to me was i was thinking too much... but he did answer my question after much persistent from me.... He always behave like this... there are certain things i know that he will answer me if i persist... well.. i will definately answer him if he asked me the same question....

J asked if i love him yesterday.. i dare not answer this question as i know i do but i am afraid of anything unhappy to happen.. you know.. we can never predict our future... At this point of time.. i just want him to be my last one... I can feel every bit of his love... and as usual.. we are another unusual couple who likes to irritate each other and at the same time we still care.. buahahaa!!! some times i wonder does he feels the same as me regarding our relationship...

Our 2 months!!!!!!

Ha! Its exactly 2 months!! not really exactly if we alk about hours... I don't think he remember... buahahaha.. maybe he does.. just that he pretend not to.. because he like to irritate me... well.. this kinda behaviour is vice versa... We will be going for dinner and movie tonight.. its my treat this time because i forgot my phone yesterday and he went to get it for me in the afternoon.. what a sweetie right??? Too bad he don't look like one.... buahahha!!! i miss him so much... buahahaha...

Feel~

Its coming 2 months next Friday.. its only so short to think about alot of future.. but the feeling in me just feels like it had been more dan 2 months.. thinking back on 12 Aug i will still feel the happiness... he knew what was in my mind back then and the words he said realy made me feel so happy... He called me yesterday night but i was already in LaLa land and don't quite remember what we spoke about.. I can only vaguely remember that he called that was the reason for me to check my phone early this morning.. i was trying hard not to call him and controlled until i went into my dreams... he will be having his test this week and is studying.. that was why i controlled myself and try not to call him... i was both happy and surprised that he called me...

i can sense his effort towards the relationship and i will try harder to be more understanding... We did not meet the last weekend.. guess we met enough during weekdays as it was like almost everyday thingy.. so i went to QS chalet on sat and he went to watch soccer with his friend after revision in school.. he did offer to drive me home after his Liverpool match because i had been sick the whole week.. and sat was quite bad also... buahaha!! but i had so much fun that i wanted to stay on... so he went back to sleep... I had always believe that we need a certain amount of personal time to spend with friends.. That's why i will still spend time with my friends and i wont restrict him to spend time with his friend... If it really unintentionally happened i hope he will voice out to make me realise it... Lastly.. i wanna say... I love you dear...

I dun wana lose you~

I just finish reading a very sad blog just now... for the whole 2 months entry from the blogger its nothing but sadness from the past relationship... i can feel her as i used to hurt people and was hurt in the end by others... that was the most horrible period of my life.. i thought i will not love anymore... i was wrong.. i am able to love but i was not able to trust.. i did told him that i know it is quite unfair for me to do this.. guess he somehow tried to accomodate my insecurity...

Sometimes certain things are really not meant to be known... what if one day you stumbled across some strange facts which you should not know?? How will you deal with it??? i was quite disturbed by my "discovery" and had chatted with J over this matter... it is my own choice because its my own luck to prop into it.. conclusion we drew was either to forget about everything and carry on being "happily ever after" or chose to investigate further and become "happily never after"... Like i had to the both Js i told.. for this time will will chose "happily ever after" because i was afraid that i will destroy my own happiness if i go deep into what i should not... It is not fair if i have to ask him to erase his past even if it is happy memory when sometimes i do go into my past memory... We do have memory... and every new future will eventually become part of our memory.. it is either we beautify it or we turns it ugly... i had enough of ugly past which i hate to face... i wanted to draw some beautiful picture with him... some nice and ever lasting picture...

I agree that i had been spending more time with him now adays... probably i had invaded into the precious time which he can be use to revise his work... but he is quite understanding and is willing to let me stay by him when he is doing his revision... in return i have to find things to do in order not to be bored... he may not be the perfect guy and may not be my dream man... as he had said.. he is from the reality not in the dream... but to me he is enough because he is willing to take my unreasonable and nonsense.. I love him... because I love him...

So tired~

I am so tired... did not have enough sleep recently.... this can be quite a torture... had tendered last week... gonna move my future to Changi South to work as a supply chain post... i was really happy that i was given the opportunity there...yesh.. its definately far from home... a 2 hrs ride at most.. iwill bear with it for a few years~!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesh! he had returned to Spore! went to the airport to fetch him that day... was so glad to see him again!!!!!!!!!! really find that our dating time is quite limited... i do miss him alot during my free time... so typical of me.. i think he is also the same... haha! so.. we will only think of each other when we are free huh....

So many 2 weeks

After 2 days of "not that much" communication... we finally talked over the phone yesterday... but he dropped me a bomb on Tuesday night... he is leaving this sunday... i was quite angry when i received the sudden message... I know that i can't be angry because there's no one to be angry with.. its not his fault that he have to go also... so i must be reasonable... haiz... so many 2 weeks!!

Missing him...

I should bear with this.. i have to... It is quite torturing though... I can't stop thinking of him... he is out some where in Singapore and I have to bear with this... There are certain thing which i dun know whether it would be appropriate for me to blog it as this is not a convenient time to do it.... Sometimes i dun even know if i had done the correct thing or said the correct words........ in a state of confusion... so sleepy now... hope he wont be caught in the stupid rain......

Weekend..

Oh.. this is a considered busy weekend.. haiz.. overspent this month and i need to save up for the next 2 months.. went out on saturday and sunday... really enjoyed these 2 days...