For me to figure out...

I was really very very very happy yesterday! I had a day off and spent my time with dear... I had not seen him for days and was missing him real badly.... Finally i gotta spend time with him yesterday for almost one whole day... Though he made me drive in circles but i was still happy (actually was complaining while driving)... I know that he can sense that i missed him real badly.. He always know it.. And that's what i actually "hate".. Coz he is always so clever to guess what'z in my mind... hmm.... Think i getting abit mushy... Luckily i know that he won't read my blog.. I guess he don't even know watz a blog.... Hahahahaha!!!! I think he actually felt guilty coz he can't always be with me... I am ok with him not being able to dedicate his time just for me becoz i know that he had his commitment... At least he is able to let me know the amount of time he was able to spend with me and i will extort every minute of the time he can bear.... Hahaha!!! At first i was touched by his actions... He cared for me when i needed support the most and was actually thinking so much of the two of us... Without showing... Without leting me sense any thing... Quietly, he bear all his thoughts to himself... i started to realise that when he first apologize to me not being able to spend his time with me... And that really shocked me... i did not know that everything i said actually went into his mind and he went in depth thinking of of it... This really touched me alot... Slowly... I discovered that i like him... I dun dare to fall in love ever again... Never ever... After the hurt that i had experience, i wanted to protect myself... Protect every bit of my heart.... Like what dear had said.. I should start planning for my future... He may leave me one day(even when he said to keep me forever)... I know that it's abit silly to say that i actually feel like following him forever.... Like what he everytime like to say... I am a silly little gal... Well.. I am silly and stupid enough to chose him.... Right at this moment.. He will not know how much i miss him... How much i detest not seeing him... How much i miss the hugs and kisses he gave me yesterday... And how much i wanted to figure out all the unanswered questions i asked him...