Yesteryear

CL said that i really need a good chat with dear in order to resolve the surfacing problem. So many times, the problem we had was due to the miscommunication or even not communicating about the problem at all. There was a trigger to our conversation last night which deemed to be a very good chat and we understood what we actually wanted from each other.

The insecurity feel which was inherited from the yesteryear relationship had always haunted me until now. I had expressed this to dear and the assurance and patience he had provided yesterday was quite satisfactory. Ya.. if i ever feel the insecurity, he should be the one worrying instead of me. This is because i was the one with history of infidelity if we wanna talk about that. The defination of our requirement of each other was trust. He trusted me, i need to return him the trust as well.

Defence is also another topic which we had recently talked about. It is quite right that i do need to jump into his defence sometimes when needed. He admitted that he is quite stingy and if he is not, he will be spending as much as me. I told him that my sister think that we are very calculative on everything, esp when money is involved. She don't think we will ever last if we are at such behaviour. Actually, to a certain point i should really jump into his defence now. This is a fact that we are in deed very calculative BUT with the stingy and calculative involved, he did still shower me with quite expensive gifts. When i requested for the trips, he never rejected especially the Aussie trip. Even when the cost was split, he volunteerily take up the food expenses that we will spend there. He also willingly paid up front for the Bintan trip because i am so poor now and still wanted a holiday. Well people, you may think that he should be paying everything but looking at the rate that we are travelling, he will probably be broke and will never be able to marry me. This is not a defence when blinded love is involve. This is a defence which is neccessary because i think he is good even when we are calculative, particular and stingy. He was willing to pay for all the 4 stars accomodation and the comfort of taking a SQ flight when we can travel by jetstar at a cheaper rate.

So dear, i defended you here, should you defend me in front of your friends whenever they crack jokes about me?