A word which i use everyday because of my own laziness. Today, this kinda tireness felt different. I felt so numb and tired to speak of anymore on that topic. Even though we are still waiting for the result, I had a very bad feeling about it.
Everytime, every delay made, i had an uneasy feeling. How much more time can we waste procrestinating? How long can we wait? How much further can we walk together? All these unanswered questions popped into my mind.
While we were hanging out often, I waited for you to confirm our relationship.
When we are a couple, I waited for you on your confirmation to a future.
When we wanted to get a nest, I waited for you to gove the green light.
I guess, after all these waiting, the only time when you need to wait for me is just to wait for me to finish my braces treatment.
When i was in hospital alone before the extraction of my premolars and wisdom tooth, you were not there waiting for me. To a certain point, i think that it is quite reasonable that you only accompany me when my surgery was done because its kinda waste of time just to wait. Even though you waited for me to be given the green light for discharge the whole afternoon, do you know that i will be even happier if you were with me through the whole day?
There was one occassion i remembered you waiting for me for 45 mins because i was held up in a de-brief. Your face turned black and you were showing me attitude due to the long waiting time. Have it ever occurred to you that there were 2 occassions when i waited for you 1 hour each and you could not stand my temper and attitude?
Do you understand how i feel now? I had been in a roller coaster ride ever since we discussed about getting a flat? We had been looking forward to this, and now, situation is so different. Somehow, I know i should be more understanding but i can't. From all the talk that we had shared, the situation we are in, i can't help but to feel that you are selfish. I can't feel your sincerity towards our future. You can't say that i don't trust you and I am not someone who build trust. I trusted and waited and defended you countless times infront of friends and family. Have you ever defended me? Have you ever put even part of my interest before certain decision you make? Maybe you will say you had no other choice bla bla bla.. and it really sounded like stage lines when you tried to explain everything.
I am not a computer. You can't expect me to accept every reason and wake up pretending nothing had ever happened. I can't reboot my mind. At this point of time, have it ever occurred to you that probably some comforting and much more assuring action can make me feel better?
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Understanding me....
- Cow
- Not much about me when you can understand me through my semi-religious updates on this webby..
Name: Gina (but is often called cow or rubbish)
D.O.B: 3rd April 19XX
Age: Early 20s
Love: My family, Dear dear Ken
D.O.B: 3rd April 19XX
Age: Early 20s
Love: My family, Dear dear Ken
MDs who gave me life..
My darling...
21 comments:
YOu felt tired is bcos that you are just simply imagine the fact to a beautiful story of your own.. Waiting for confirmation.. LOL..isn't should be clear when you started holding his hands? Dun base on your own imaginations and live with it. Be more understanding if the simpliest thing in this relationship you cannot understand how do you except to live together in future.. A marriage is not a compromise.. Keep saying that you are tired, are you sure the other party won't get tired as well. Hello it is marriage not puppy love... Wake up... Through wat you written on your blog shown that you are a dreadful controlling person.. Everyone need a breathing moment..
i understand your feeling..
i feel sad for you too! People who dun understand dun haf to listen to their comments! U r giving out more than him and everyone in the family can see it! That's why i keep telling you think carefully...
"U r giving out more than him"... LOL..whahaha
Do this kind of things to be compared? Is that means that you give him 1hr of time and he had to give you back that hour? Come on.. there's no such things in a relationship.. How much you give doesn't mean that how much you get back... This is not a trade unless you wan to treat it as a trading relationship.. In the world there's not such thing as fairness.. To you maybe not fair but to others maybe fair.. Different people got different view.. Ask yourself do you really love him... If you really do, then you shouldn't be complaining what you dun have but instead should appreciate what you had.. Love unconditionally is the magic in every relationship..
i duno who this superbaby is...but definitely not a right thing to say or comment.
a relationship needs understanding. in fact, many a times we can't measure what's more and what's not.
I dun pity u...i just felt that u need more assurance. why not have a proper talk and ease things out?
We'll root u watever the decision is...but we complain because we care and am bothered. if we really dun bother, y complain?
one more thing to add...
love unconditionally, but not be a fool to be hurt or "abused" in a r/s.
Those who sings unconditional love, but dun give the due respect and love to the other party is no better.
Gal, ask yourself what you want in your own life...u do defend him, we know...that is y we dun wana be too involved in ur decisions...hope that the other party's family dun get too involved too...
The level of respect and love is different from every individual.. One may feel offence but another won't..Mostly badly handed r/s will usually ended up with alot of shits.. Telling everyone in should a open blog does it means respect.. I have doubts here.. I think even if one day he wanted to leave he might also scared that his privacy being leak in blog.. hahaha.. sound scary rite.. Things are meant to settle with the person then do it directly with him.. Not telling everyone and earn some pity.. Reading so much on your blog is like watching a comedy.. It's your life and It's created with your own hands.. At the first place when you decided to hold his hands isn't you know well enough then why trying to change him if his attitude was the same.. You choose it and dun complain abt it.. Face the fact that it is him, the one you choosen.. Is either you dun change him or you leave him.. Where is there to be upset.. Well wat i wrote may hurt you but that facts.. Ya.. Normally when family members always say dun get involve but ultimately somehow they will still get involved.. Think abt it..
Gal, when bloody shit dun know the story and comment with the somehow broken sentences in english and exhibit the wronglful use of vocab somehow sounded shitty ya?!
if this person think your life and happenings is albeit a comedy, it's good, at least it's not a tragedy!
btw, superbaby, do you read english?
I meant we try NOT TO GET TOO involved, i never mention we won't get involved! get the facts right!
I feel that this person duno the whole story that's why he/she can wrote something like these!! So many bullshit to comment on other's ppl blog and r/s... why not put some shit in his/her mouth to SHUT UP! Do you understand her beta dan us?!
if u r a blogger of cuz u will blog watever on it... ur feeling, ur r/s, ur family etc... if not why bother to create a blog of you own?! Stay at home and write diary! After writting it keep it INSIDE a safe box where nobody can take it out and read! Pls! If you started your blog means u already knew that people from anywhere will read ur blog!
Superbaby dun try to put nasty comments on my sis blog anymore! I duno who the bloody hell u are! PLS STOP IT! This is her problem not YOURS! And as her sister we won't want her to get hurt in r/s of cuz! of cuz everybody will have their own beautiful dreams to live on, don't u? Only dead ppl dun haf! ****ID!
it's good dat is a comedy now,but will it be a tragedy down the road? God knows.. Understand her with judgement to another party or just BBC (Bullshits buying club) hahaha.. Isn't blog is free for everyone to view? If really care wat other third party comment then dun put in the blog.. And make a fool of herself..
if we were to know future, we'd be on the cross or even sitting on the altar right now SB!
your ab on BBC is interesting, i guess only interesting people like such would use.
Indeed, I agree with u (finally!) that a blog is free for peeps to comment and yes, feel free! It's a mundane friday and we welcome adverse wisdom from people like yourself to perk our friday!
What we meant here is, from how u described the whole issue, it seems that u are a lover everyone would wish for! Loving unconditionally and giving while not hoping for any returns? How wonderful!
In a proper r/s there are ups and downs everyone gets their fair share...only when problems are challenged and face, resolution comes in and the r/s will bloom further, likewise, it'll wilther if not managed well.
WHatever it is, there are always 2 sides of a coin...can't we be protective towards our sis? Or are you someone without siblings to understand our perspective and where we are coming from?
Her life will NEVER be a tragic one as I believe we'll be her life support who will pull her up in bad times.
And thanks for letting us know my sis' blog is being read by u! I find you a more likely comdian as you enjoy reading her blog even when you think her life is a comedy and still wanted to be involved in a way! How interesting!
No doubt everyone have a dream but be realistic between dreams and reality.. So you all are siblings..No wonder so defensive.. well that is fact and means face the facts.. If scare to get hurt because of other people remarks then dun get into R/S... In every R/S there's sure hurt..laughter..smile n anger.. If you not prepared to accept all this then why you wan to get yourself in these shits..
If i did not read wronly, she is not running away from the reality.
SHe is facing it and managing expectations from different avenues.
To be more proper, who wants to get hurt? I do not wish to...in fact, a sane mentally person would NOT want to be hurt in anyways, tho in reality, this doesn't happen.
What's bad about dreaming? I love to dream and hope fo future too! doesn't that give you a better picture to advance into your future? Please don't tell me you are happy to see a bleak future?! I'd be so surprised if you are~
Truth be it, life goes on good or bad, what's wrong with a r/s that goes thru ups and downs? There's always light at the end of the tunnel...we were brought up optimistically, im sorry if you are otherwise.
"only when problems are challenged and face, resolution comes in and the r/s will bloom further, likewise, it'll wilther if not managed well".... I agreed with dat.. but resolution doesn't complain and condemn other party.. There's really ups and downs but who will take charge of it in a R/S? Her life will NEVER be a tragic one doesn't means that will not be.. your perspective and where you are coming from will only lead yr sis felt that she's protected and never grow to see the actual fact.. So stop all the BBC and leave her alone to decide herself.. If she wants to stay on making herself suffer in future nobody can help her..
Thankful my life indeed is a wonderful one.. there's also ups and downs but always managed well.. Too much dreams will only upset and putting presure to other party.. So what's the point, dreams will come true when both party willing to work towards it..But after all the complaining and arguements then start doing it.. I doubt it will go long.. Even forcing to go along with it, is also a tragedy..
oh...so i know where u are coming from...so u think by not neing together she won't suffer?
At the end of the day, we will be rejoicing if everything blossoms. If it doesn't and if it means she will have to stay on and the r/s comes to naught, at least she tried and they both also had put in the effort.
THere is no condemn in anyway, unless you perceive it wrongly. I do not know you are coming from a perspective of a guy or a gal, but i understand that one should live life to the fullest and not escape from reality just being afraid of being harmed.
we do not believe in regrets, tho many times we do...life is contradicting and even more so for a r/s.
Have u ever had one? if you do and if you were the scaping party i do feel sorry. If you are not, it means you are brave like us who faces the future that we will not know until the time comes right?
My sis is not being protected, in fact when young, we fight, but the closeness just grew.
Marriage is about 2 families, NOT 2person. Maybe I should say NEVER; it is more approroate this way!
Tragedy is so ambiguous, the same applies to happiness.
Hope i open another possible perspective in your world and in my sis' "comedy".
"Thankful my life indeed is a wonderful one.. "
To remind you, life is full of uncertainties...i only count my blessings as my life is still going on.
Tragedy happens to everyone...including u and me if we will be so unlucky. I am also considered a lucky one with ups and downs once in a blue moon.
I will not know if my life is wonderful till the day i report my days.
I don't think all of you have to bother with what Superbaby says... afterall, he/she is just a baby who calls itself a baby, is pessimistic, doesn't dare to have any dreams n is obviously obsessively interested in your sister's life...
Live life to the fullest.. that's rite.. but it always take 2 hands to clap.. there's only 3 kinds of eople in the world.. first one is wonder wat had happen, second is to see things happen and the third on make things happen... So if she really try so hard until tired of it, should she take a step back and think wat's next for her or wat went wrong and correct from there.. No point arguing and complaining that will ruin the R/S somehow.. As for me, I always fight for my own rights and happiness but do it gracefully without hurting anyone.. Always remember "wat is to be is up to me"... People dun do it, then I do it with ease not resentful.. Tat's at least a point gain even the R/S didn't worked out.. As her sis, put yourself in a shoes of a nobody to jugde the things she wrote in her blog which may cause hurt to the other which maybe is not wat he meant.. Did she really do a confirmation with him at the first place..
Wow... just ignore this superbaby. It's none of her/his business to bother and involve in your r/s. And, I don't think he/she should comment so much too esp in this kind of open blog. Do whatever that will keep yourself happy. At the end of the day, it's your own decision and life. Stay happy!~
Post a Comment