The fear to admit or lose??

Why am i so timid now adays? I had always been timid.. but not this kinda fear... I had admitted lost to my family.. I lost my love in exchange for them.. I lost my stubborness in exchange for their understanding.. Now things get better with my family... but i have to admit.. i like him alot... really... alot... Day and night i had been thinking.. none stop... Its not fun to be pestered by questions everytime you talk on the phone with someone just exchanging a few intimate words.. I say that to frenz.. all my frenz... guys and gals... no difference... I went home late coz i went out... Can i go clubbing at least once a week during the weekends?? I am really tired... I like him i cant see him.. I miz him i cant listen to him... Alot of things happened recently.. and i am really tired to say.. very very tired... so what if i am being honest... my honesty was no recipocrated.... sadness.. happiness... its the same... no difference... I used to have a colorful world... now they are all fading... am i thinkin too much? Should i give myself a holiday, take a break some where? Spending time alone...?