learn!N...

The more i think of you the more i dun bear to let go... the more i dun bear to let go... the more pressurizing we are... We had never promised the moon or stars.... neither had we wanted to care about the future... all we wanted is the short term happiness we are experiencing everytime we talk on the phone... evertime we see each other... every moment that we both share.... u wanted me to find a good guy.... and i can leave you happily.... You wanna be the only naughty in me... We procrastinated all conversations about elle and my family.... I dun mind being branded promiscuious... I only wanted a world of me and you..... You dun want me to fall out with my family... You dun want me to get stressed out by this relationship... And I had finally agreed to freedom... nodded my head and let you fly.....

Sometimes i selfishly think that how good it will be if the world can accept in everything one does or one had did with a huge heart... knowing a person by who he/she is, without caring who he/she is with.... I am with you... and its me who is with you.... I dun care bout your appearance... your ego... i juz block out everything that will hurt the relationship... Finally... I realise what is to like someone with the heart.... Finally... i am able to cry becoz of a relationship... Finally.... I am learning to let go of someone i really like alot alot.... Finally.... I learn to hide my sadness beneath my pillows, with the tears whole night.... You guys once told me that i had not really liked someone when i said that i wont sob over a relationship.... Now i learn to handle a rocky, tough relationship for months... Keeping every sweetest moment and plans we had drawn.... I no longer had the bitter sweet and sour feeling anymore.... Becoz i am not entitled to it anymore.... I can no longer feel every touch and kiss you shower anymore... I am learning to be your friend once again... I am learning to smile again.... I am learning to cry again.... I am learning not to miss you again... I am learning to accept.... I am learning to forget.... I am learning to stop the tears.... I am learning to stop saying "I luv you" and "I miz you".....

I am strong... and i will be strong..... I will learn to be even stronger without you....

I was told that i am selfish, insensible and silly when this relationship surfaced... I was warned by my frenz when i get to know him.... I rejected every possibility my frenz had brought up between me and him.... And when I met him... I admitted i like him... expressed my interest in him (to my frenz of coz).... and when he wanted me to be his gal... I juz simply accepted it outta fun... i didnt know bout elle... When i knew it it was months after we were together... It was an agreed no strings relationship... And finally we attached strings to it when he expressed his feelings to me several times before i accepted him... And finally i was his gf... I like him alot alot.... I dun want the relationship to surface... But i cant take it anymore... I confess and had a talk with the closest around me... news leaked to my family... and they said that i had changed... DO you think that being branded is very nice?? I accepted it... as its a fact... Now everything had concluded..... I wanna hide.... Hide from everything... Hide from the fact.... Hide from my pain... But this is a real world... Its reality that i had to agree with...