History.Gift.Future

Yesterday is history... Today is a gift... Tomorrow is future... My 2nd sis got married yesterday.. sooo... sad.... Had been quite down since last week... Coz sis getting married equals nobody for me to bully at home... Now the youngest me.. is the only daughter left... People were all saying that thats the best coz my parents will love me more.. but then.. i felt lonely.. Having to sleep with that crazy sister in the same room for 16 years... lived in the same house for 21 years.. Quite sad to part with her actually... The house will definately be quieter now.. coz i am seldom at home also.. Felt like crying during her 2 march ins yesterday in he restaurant.. but cant cry.. coz i am the emcee... haiz.. Dear mentioned that i had suddenly became pessimistic.. Maybe because i felt the same loneliness few years ago when she found a boyfriend... Because i am so close to her i am jealous and suddenly felt lonely... Well.. I am happy that she found her happiness... Optimistic point of view.. I shall start to fight in my career.. I am not the 'home-builder' kinda girl who will wanna be kept in a box... but i dun wanna lose dear also.. He knew that i hate marriage... and is quite pessimistics towards marriage life.. That's why we are quite happy with our current situation...
Today's gift is not really that fantastic... at least i gotta sleep more than yesterday... I was just imagining what if dear call me yesterday and what if i complained to him that i dun hav enough sleep becoz i was watching VCDs the whole night? He will definately scold me.. But i really miss him alot alot.. When will his mood turn good? I really miss that kinda cheeky naughty smile he used to gave me and the gentle look that reflected from his eyes... i wanna hug him to sleep again....
I duno what my future will be like.. My wish is to build my career and own a car in a few years time.. NO MARRIAGE for me!! The simplest equation for marriage is to have a partner till the day you die... Well.. you can also have one.. even without the cert which you need to pay and get it.. Thats my point of view.. I was once so touched and wanna to agree to marry R when he called me that night... But i as knocked to my sense after our breakup..... Dear and i had promised forever.. and the basic thing that can still keep us together is trust and how we cherish the limited amount of time we are able to spend together.... I had always been optimistic regarding this matter...