dowN...

Feeling rather sad recently.. What that had used to be so sweet are no longer that sweet anymore... I tried to forget everything by working so hard and get myself busy... Got my ear pierced this afternoon during lunch time... At first i was quite scared that it would very pain.. to my surprise, it was not as painful as i had imagined...!!! Hahahaha... Lucky i had Becca and Shi with me today... Thanx babes!! Thats it for today...

Time & Tide

So much had happened recently. Lost my phone after getting drunk, breaking up with my boyfriend, quarelled with my family..... Haiz..... Then being branded im-matured... so and so.... Who dun wanna rush home the moment they off work? Who dun wanna stay at home and discuss their prblems with their family? Who dun wanna enjoy when they are able to? If there are someone out there who dun want all these... please let me know... Have anyone been chased out of your sibling's room or parent's room the moment you wanna tell them your troubles? Have any one been left stranded at home late at night hoping just any one of your family to get home? Have anyone tried to be good to your family but was not appreciated? Or maybe i had tried to keep all these to myself for too long and i turned a little rebellious? Do you call this rebellious by clubbing with your friends/ going for rehearsals/ attending gathering/ watching movies with other guys other than your boyfirend? I admit that my social circle is wider now. I went out often now adays. Don't my sisters went out at my age? I used to shop alone because my sisters are busy with their boyfriend (now husband). It became a habit and i shop alone most of the time now adays. It had been so long since i asked my mum for any prize. I can still remember the last time i did that was an agreement we had when i was P5. That agreement was if i am able to score top 3 in class she will buy me a Baby G. And to everyone's surprize (including me) i did it.... Now, the only prize i ask for my merit cert is only a trip to Genting or a holiday with my friend before i start my term next year... And i got rejected time and again... The answer i got from my sis was "you can dream on if you wanna go for a holiday with your 'so-call' friends" They saw my friends before... and it is hurting to hear your own friends being branded 'so-call' friends by your own sisters... If i said that to their friends... how will they feel? They don't understand how great my friends had been during my down time... Like what people say "huan nan jian zhen qing"... My friends stood by me during my down time... They were there all the time.... Those who left me during that time had already been filtered in my life... And those who are with me now are those that had been through my down time with me... Have they ever asked me to bring my friends home for dinner? Or even invite them to a BBQ to take alook at them? NOPE! I was invited by my friends so many times to their place for wateva gathering... and felt welcome... Thats how your meet your child's friends... Or the best chance is during a birthday party... I never had a birthday party since... erm... donkey years ago... I have my friends photo with me in my room they can see it! I tried to show them through friendster my studio friends coz they had not met them before... they refuse to see... What else can i do to let my family see the friends i mix with? If being a good daughter is to stay at home all the time.. chose the guy your mum wants you to be with... Sorry... Then i dun think i am one... Guess what my mum asked me to do recently? She wanted me to chase back my boyfriend... too bad... if letting a good guy go is a sign of turning bad... very sorry.... this is not the first time i am doing it... I maybe spoit.. but i am not rotten... and i know it best!! Most probably mummy is getting paranoid now because my sisters are getting married and leaving the house one by one.. and i am the only one left at home... like what i had said... I am the ONLY ONE left... and whenever they are out in pairs... i am the only person... walking on my own... So.. i dun see the point that they go on a tour in couples and pairs and i follow suit... At this point of time alot of people might say i am being very selfish... But i just hate the feeling of being alone... I had been left alone till late nights since young... and i hate the feeling when you talk to a person and that person is not listening to you... just let you complete your sentence and you will automatically shut up... Thats what happened to me since i was kid... but who cares? i am too tired to expain everything to them over and over again... since they dun wanna meet my frenz.. i will just say go out with frenz when i am out.. not even to mention the name at all because WHO CARES? even if i bother to mention.. they wont even remember.... because WHO CARES? Now they think that something is wrong and they say THEY CARE... so whatz wrong now? staying out late? or THEY CARE?