I dun wana lose you~

I just finish reading a very sad blog just now... for the whole 2 months entry from the blogger its nothing but sadness from the past relationship... i can feel her as i used to hurt people and was hurt in the end by others... that was the most horrible period of my life.. i thought i will not love anymore... i was wrong.. i am able to love but i was not able to trust.. i did told him that i know it is quite unfair for me to do this.. guess he somehow tried to accomodate my insecurity...

Sometimes certain things are really not meant to be known... what if one day you stumbled across some strange facts which you should not know?? How will you deal with it??? i was quite disturbed by my "discovery" and had chatted with J over this matter... it is my own choice because its my own luck to prop into it.. conclusion we drew was either to forget about everything and carry on being "happily ever after" or chose to investigate further and become "happily never after"... Like i had to the both Js i told.. for this time will will chose "happily ever after" because i was afraid that i will destroy my own happiness if i go deep into what i should not... It is not fair if i have to ask him to erase his past even if it is happy memory when sometimes i do go into my past memory... We do have memory... and every new future will eventually become part of our memory.. it is either we beautify it or we turns it ugly... i had enough of ugly past which i hate to face... i wanted to draw some beautiful picture with him... some nice and ever lasting picture...

I agree that i had been spending more time with him now adays... probably i had invaded into the precious time which he can be use to revise his work... but he is quite understanding and is willing to let me stay by him when he is doing his revision... in return i have to find things to do in order not to be bored... he may not be the perfect guy and may not be my dream man... as he had said.. he is from the reality not in the dream... but to me he is enough because he is willing to take my unreasonable and nonsense.. I love him... because I love him...

So tired~

I am so tired... did not have enough sleep recently.... this can be quite a torture... had tendered last week... gonna move my future to Changi South to work as a supply chain post... i was really happy that i was given the opportunity there...yesh.. its definately far from home... a 2 hrs ride at most.. iwill bear with it for a few years~!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesh! he had returned to Spore! went to the airport to fetch him that day... was so glad to see him again!!!!!!!!!! really find that our dating time is quite limited... i do miss him alot during my free time... so typical of me.. i think he is also the same... haha! so.. we will only think of each other when we are free huh....