Jealousy...

I thought i won't be jealous this time... Who knows... I still got jealous... For nothing.... Hahaha... Lucky he was quite clever... Can catch me from my words... Well... Though he said there's nothing to be jealous about i am still jealous.. until now... even when there's nothing between them... I am still jealous... Why?? Coz she is so cute... But she is attached.. Hahaha!!! Well... my dear is also attached.. Hahaha.. Why should i worry? haha...

Recent feelings...

When a naughty gal falls, it is hard and very painful.. But she knows how to bounce back... Get to her feet.. numb herself in her work and start her new life.. Her world can only be filled with her friends and family.. nevertheless.. her work.. School starting soon.. And she will get busier.. She felt so disappointed with love and decided not to be serious in future.. That's her lesson... That's her karma.. She used to treat good guys like dirt... giving all her commands and not cherishing them.. Now she knows how it felt not to be cherished... Now she understand how cruel love can be towards her when everything ends.. It starts so nicely.. like a fairy tale... and it ended so horribly... So much so that she was sad, angry and disappointed... She was sad because she love him and wanted him to herself... She was angry with herself for not able to fake her ignorant anymore.. She was disappointed with all his lies and now... She is happy she lead a new life... Forever to her is no longer the word... She needed a companion now... and she had found one... the one who listens to her complains and give her part of the attention... One who is willing to make her smile... and regain her naughtiness... Its a kinda companionship which no one will understand... No more commitment for her... neither does she want anything in return... some times she only wanted some attention and she get it... Now... she realise she don't have to depend on any guy.. she have herself.. and her companion..

Ended

I finally took the courage to end the two of us this morning... Oh no... Can't seemed to turn off the tap since then... Had been crying since this morning... On and off... stop and start... Felt really deeply hurt.... I dun feel like talking at all... I went to look for him this morning after Balcony wif CL and company... Travelled all the way down... My determination of leaving him shook after i met him... I dun bear to leave him at all... Can't seem to control myself at all.... But after i returned home and think... I finally had the courage to tell him i wanna to leave him... And he accepted that as i kept insisting of breaking up... I realised how hard it was for me to actually made up my mind and leave him... See through his lies finally.... Maybe i was too serious this time... So i guess its time to really change back to the Gina Teo who is forever heartless and cruel.... I just can't stand being serious anymore... More i think more i lost my faith towards love.. Hmm.... I will be fine... I kept telling myself this... I knew deep inside me that i will miss him... but i will forget the love i had for him... I will be strong and move on....

Human nature??

I remembered i once ask this guy who had a pretty wife and a gf, "Don't you think you are greedy?" His answer to me was "Ya lor.." Is this human nature to be greedy to have to relationships at a time...? CL once asked me before "Do you really need two bf?" I could not answer him. Dumb strikened. Been thinking alot bout these questions.. It might be a kinda human nature to be greedy.. Sometimes, having different people to be with you can be a change, or maybe a lesson. You learn to cherish whoever and learn to know who is more important. I guess, that guy's wife is more important than his gf... And one of my bf was more important than th other... You can feel... Who you really wanna to be with after the company of the other.... That's why i am afraid... R might have another company behind me.. I may like him alot... But i will never know is he the one destined to be mine..