Phobia...

Yesh.. my fear had surfaced again... i was having a chat with him on MSN on the sensitive topic which he had been avoiding all along... he asked me why do i like him and i can't answer it.. fact is i dun have an answer for this.. this is always like that.. how can i answer when i dun even know why... then when i asked him does he like me he replied that i know he wonot answer this.. yes.. but i hope that he will... it was on the next morning i realise that i wanna let go of the baggage on liking someone.. it did wake my fear to a certain point when he dun wanna answer me that question and we go ahead with the topic... well.. people who know me well knows me well will know my fear... i had a phobia ever since the last relationship... previously SL dun answer this question and expect me to find out myself... i had been convincing myself that he does love me as much as i love him.. but sweet dreams dun last.. nightmare came before i am prepared for any changes... a question which he dun answer means that he is not sure of the kinda feeling he had towards me... am i a lover? a sister? a good friend? or just a fling? until now.. he still can't convince himself either... it would be better if i remain my reservations and treat him as fling right from the start.. maybe this fear in me won't exist... now my subconcious had convinced myself to let go.. look for someone who will give me an answer to my questions.. so should i thank my fear??? or should i thank the couple who broke my heart??