So many 2 weeks

After 2 days of "not that much" communication... we finally talked over the phone yesterday... but he dropped me a bomb on Tuesday night... he is leaving this sunday... i was quite angry when i received the sudden message... I know that i can't be angry because there's no one to be angry with.. its not his fault that he have to go also... so i must be reasonable... haiz... so many 2 weeks!!

Missing him...

I should bear with this.. i have to... It is quite torturing though... I can't stop thinking of him... he is out some where in Singapore and I have to bear with this... There are certain thing which i dun know whether it would be appropriate for me to blog it as this is not a convenient time to do it.... Sometimes i dun even know if i had done the correct thing or said the correct words........ in a state of confusion... so sleepy now... hope he wont be caught in the stupid rain......

Weekend..

Oh.. this is a considered busy weekend.. haiz.. overspent this month and i need to save up for the next 2 months.. went out on saturday and sunday... really enjoyed these 2 days...

Preserve this....

I hope i won't lose this.. ya.. my sense of insecurity is working up again... i hope we can maintain this or move forward.. there are too much disappointment in my life.. i don't wana be disappointed and start all over again.. hmm... i was quite unreasonable yesterday night.. i missed him so much this 2 days.. and actually called him after my rehearsal.. as usual.. he chatted with me till i reach home and this time the conversation actually continued after i bathe.. haha!! he was working on his report when i called him... and the unreasonable me actually wanted him 2 put down his work and be a sweet someone for once to talk to me.. he actually did put down his work and chatted with me till 1 plus in the morning... haha!!! I wana see him this week...

Today's mood....

Came home this morning and couldn't get to sleep... I think da jie is right... sometimes certain things have to be clear especially in relationships.. i can't always be in some kinda relationship which is not recognise.. i don't even know who i am to him now.. are we good friend? or what..? i can never answer this question.. everyone around me is asking this question.. my answer is always "i don't know"... fact is i really don't know.. sometimes i really think that its also my fault that we are in this kinda situation now..
Yesterday he wanted to watch Liverpool's first match.. i can insist on going home after movie which will result in him missing the first part of the match... I can understand how disappointing will that be if he miss that so i suggested he watch his match first then send me home.. so we went to his place for him to watch his match while i surf net... I will ask myself why am i doing so much when i am not even his girlfriend... but.. i juz can't stand not treating him as good when he is so good to me.. Remember the last surprise which he missed?? The Phantom of the Opera incident.. now i know the answer to his reason to the "one month advance booking"... he actually got the ticket to "The King and I".. He told me over dinner yesterday and i don't look surprised... Fact is i really doesn't know how to react.. I am really happy that he did plan this (if this is not a one-sided feeling)...

NDP!!!

ok.. this is the first tme i watch NDP 'live' not from the TV!!! haha!!! ok... nothing that fascinating but is an experience not to be missed... like it alot.. kinda new experience...
Having my ice cream crave recently... really feels like eating ice cream... i want ice cream... i want ice cream...

grey.....

Why is everything so grey??? its always in this grey area.. i need to be patient i need to know what i am doing... being a female is so difficult... there are things which we can say or can't at certain time... everything we wanna say we gotta think twice... certain things its so difficult to hide... so whatz in a guy's mind??? maybe is my PMS controlling my emotions... but i really wana know wats in your mind... questions you don't wana answer i don't ask again.... but i really wanna know the answer!