SCHOOL!!!!!!!

Buahaha!! So excited... gonna go school tomorrow!! Finally i am starting my degree tomorrow... Just like a dream... Cant wait to finish it... I know it will very tired.. This explains why i am now in office typing this entry.. Have to finish what ever i have to finish today.. That's very tiring... And that's how i am gonna lead my life for the rest of the year. i asked dear today whether he will come and fetch me tomorrow or not.. The answer is actually quite disappointing... He said no.. Coz by the time he reach home will be super late and he have to work the next day... Never.. I am independant!

KTV

Hahaha!! Joanna messaged me this morning and was hinting to ask her out.. Since my weekends are always free.. I "dated" her out... Went singing with her and her brother's frenz.. Its fun man!! I simply love to sing alot.. here's some photo to share!

Valentine's Day

Just feel like re-capping my Valentines' Day... Did not really spend much time with dear that day as he will be meeting people at 9+.. All i can do was to sit down with him and had coffee (That's what we have in comon.. we are both coffee addict)... think he felt quite guilty not able to spend that day with me... But to me its ok... Coz actually any day we spend together to me is already Val day.. ;p All that i had done that day was to slip a card into his bag which he gotta read it only the next day... On the 15th after i sent all the gals home from airport, i went to drive him from his office... We went the JW where he is able to have his dinner and we are able to talk... Felt so sweet thinking back.. I was resting on his lap while he read the letter in the envelope.. Guess he finally know what i want and as normal... he called me silly gal after he read it... He had been so sweet these few days also... Actually we were suppose to meet for breakfast today.. but he woke up late (expected).. actually i also woke up about the same time.. hehe.. Thus not able to meet up.... I do miss him... alot... I had forgotten what had i mentioned in the letter... hmm... thinking back... Hope it was not too mushy.. hahaha!!!

Stressssss!!!!!

Wasn't feeling very good today... Just realised that it is really very difficult to adjust myself to the "new system" my new boss wanted me to follow... Not that i wanna pick on her or trying to be mean... Some of her ways of doing things are simply redundant... It just doesn't add any value at all... I did not know why i was so upset bout it.. Most probably i was so busy today and i found my docs in a mess... Finally i had enough of it... I seriously dun understand her way of being "neat"... It is too rigid... I really feel like leaving the job... If its not because of the pay and my loan.. I would have resigned the day i knew she took over... Heard that she had plan to let one of my colleague take this part of my job... Since the day i knew she took over.. i had an intuition that she would let my colleague do this sooner or later coz she was used to working with that colleague... There are people who told her not to make changes when she just took over as she was not very sure of how our things work.... it is just a matter of time i have nothing else to do... and will lose my job...my boss had been good enough to help me think what i can do if one day all these things realy happens.. I appreciate that he was thinking bout my loan and my degree and asked me to hold for one more year.. But i just can't hold it anymore.. I told myself to be patient and calm down.. Had already been holding myself.. Most probably coz QS just left yesterday and i did not have enough sleep (slept for only bout 3-4 hrs)... Argh!!!!!!!!!!! Really can't stand it anymore even though i had been telling myself she is new... Have to help her... I have a thinking that i also wanted to protect a colleague who just took over part of my job... Most probably i will take back this part ba... My boss advise me to see first... This is also the first time i discussed so much bout work after working hours with my boss... He knew i was angry and unhappy... Haiz... How can i ever get a virgo to be understanding enough..??

Today

Went for QY 21st birthday celebration yesterday and borrowed my dad's van in order to solve the vehicle problem for getting home late... Actually was quite envy that she is able to have her birthday party... yet i can't... Come to think of it i actuallywas very sad... coz my sis will be having her customery on May and my birthday falls on April... I love birthday parties which involves both friends and family alot alot!! That's what i had been having when i was young... but... haiz... Mum's reason for me not able to have a birthday celebration was because she was afraid that i will "clash" (Some chinese superstitious thingy) with their wedding. She promised me a birthday celebration during my 21st birthday when she was not able to make it for my 18th birthday... But see what happens... Everyone can have their 21st birthday party.. Regardless it's at home or chalet... but i can't... I can only celebrate it outside with my friends... I can't chose a 3kg cake which i love and cut it with my family and friends. I can only get a small cake and cut it with my friends.. That's so sad...
Ok.. shall stop harping on my sadness anymore.. after QY birthday the group of us went to West Coast Park McDonald's for some drinks and went home ard 3am in the morning. On our way home, we met this Road block at Tamah Jurong which was just two junctions away from QS house.. I thought it was just another road block and all i have to do is to jus make sure that me n QS had our safety belt on will be enough.. Who noes.. the police actually wanted the group of us to get down the car and hade our ICs checked... OMG!!! This is the first time i ever got asked by the police to get outta my vehicle..We were not really scared instead we get quite high over it and was quite noisy throughout the 15 mins (that's the approximate time coz i never check my watch)... Interesting huh..? I think so too... =p

Bored...

Getting really very very very very bored... QS is going overseas and dere goes my fav friend... Though she will be back... but i just cant help feeling lonely... Can still remember clearly that she was spending my birthday with me last year and this year she is gonna miz it... haiz....

I miz you...

I really had no where to express how much i miss you... I really miss you alot... I keep thinking of you in the bus... on my way home... while eating my meals and when listening to songs... Why do you have to be so sweet to me when you know that i had long lost faith in love...? I dun understand why i wanted to see you and be with you... I miss you alot yet i dun dare to message you... I can't stop myself from thinking of you... Dear.. Do you know that while typing this post i had actually been thinking of you for the whole day? Thinking of you made me weak... No mood for everything...

What can i do?

Dear had been having quite alot of stress from his boss recently.. I can see that he was so stress that he could no longer hide it like how he used to do it... I dun understand why... But when i saw him with such a "stress face" my heart will ache. I told him, "looking at your stress look, my here (pointing to my left chest) ache." It dose makes my heart pain to see him like this.. He assured me that nothing will ever happen to him... If he really can't take it anymore.. he will just leave his job and i know he really mean it... I told him that if there is a chance for him to go overseas, just leave.. Yet he was rather concerned bout what will happen to me if he go... Some stupid words just came out from my mouth after he expressed his concern... Actually I felt guilty after all these words.... But he just seem to hide most of his feelings... When he was stress... most i can do when i see him was to give him a nice massage at the back, ask bout him and not nag.. and a warm cuddle hug... I really duno what can i do to help release his burden...

For me to figure out...

I was really very very very happy yesterday! I had a day off and spent my time with dear... I had not seen him for days and was missing him real badly.... Finally i gotta spend time with him yesterday for almost one whole day... Though he made me drive in circles but i was still happy (actually was complaining while driving)... I know that he can sense that i missed him real badly.. He always know it.. And that's what i actually "hate".. Coz he is always so clever to guess what'z in my mind... hmm.... Think i getting abit mushy... Luckily i know that he won't read my blog.. I guess he don't even know watz a blog.... Hahahahaha!!!! I think he actually felt guilty coz he can't always be with me... I am ok with him not being able to dedicate his time just for me becoz i know that he had his commitment... At least he is able to let me know the amount of time he was able to spend with me and i will extort every minute of the time he can bear.... Hahaha!!! At first i was touched by his actions... He cared for me when i needed support the most and was actually thinking so much of the two of us... Without showing... Without leting me sense any thing... Quietly, he bear all his thoughts to himself... i started to realise that when he first apologize to me not being able to spend his time with me... And that really shocked me... i did not know that everything i said actually went into his mind and he went in depth thinking of of it... This really touched me alot... Slowly... I discovered that i like him... I dun dare to fall in love ever again... Never ever... After the hurt that i had experience, i wanted to protect myself... Protect every bit of my heart.... Like what dear had said.. I should start planning for my future... He may leave me one day(even when he said to keep me forever)... I know that it's abit silly to say that i actually feel like following him forever.... Like what he everytime like to say... I am a silly little gal... Well.. I am silly and stupid enough to chose him.... Right at this moment.. He will not know how much i miss him... How much i detest not seeing him... How much i miss the hugs and kisses he gave me yesterday... And how much i wanted to figure out all the unanswered questions i asked him...