Feeling lost again....

Had a talk with CL last night.. it just felt like we were back in school days when we will chat and chat non-stop over the phone for hours... but as we grow older... the conversation shortened and everything will end short and sweet... well this time is my problem... it used to be most of his problem whe he will call and chat... Its been so long since we last chat over the phone.. most of the time we will do it over MSN... which i hate most because he can't fully express his crude honesty through the words... even when his language is powerful... i will only feel the kinda impact and sent me crying till i sleep at night through phone conversation... ya.. that's the impact he gave me last night... i was feeling very lost recently... That is why i decided to chat with him... Just like QS, i don't have to explain much to describe much he will know what i wanna expresss... he can easily read me like a book... ok.. that goes without saying as we had known each other for for bout 14 years... he knew what i was thinking and deep down into my fault... where i refuse to let go... Oh my... that kinda words and feelings came from him through the phone caused my warm tears to flow down my cold cheeks... i can feel the trace of every drop of tear... He probably knew that i am getting emotional when i hang up because i hang up before a long palse.... he really missed my attitude... and he doesn't really like this emotional me.. Where's my attitude...?