A new chance

OK!!! I am single and very available and i dun wanna be left on the shelf!!!! buahahaha!! had been emphasizing this alot recently... and i guess maybe a matchmaking session will be following up very very soon... buahaha... Joan was asking if i can accept caucassians because... she is aiming to go Genting with some "we-know-who" guys... and if possible.... buahaha!! I can say that i am semi-prepared to carry on with the plan... Though i dun think any thing good will happen to me because nothing good had ever happened to me.... I was joking with Fuyuan if he got any guy friend who is just like me... because i kinda know the guys he hang out with... buahahha!! i mean.. know as in because they are my seniors in secondary school and i know their looks... and he actually took me for real i think! he asked me if i wants his good friend WW....!!!! buahahaha!! what a joke! Haiz.. but come to think of that.. if Joan never asked me how long i had been single... guess i will start to lose count on that also... She said... not counting the weekdays lovers... i had been single for about more than 1 year... she doesn't like me to consider my last 2 relationships as a true relationships because the 2 guys SUCKS right to the core!! hope you wont mind my language... but its a fact that nobody can deny.. i love them both equally and was at the same time hurt by them equally.... Sometimes i just cant help thinking that maybe its because my age is catching up... there are alot of things i cant bear to press the restart button... how can i ever be so stubborn??? i dun have the courage to restart alot of things again... i am no very young anymore...

It is just like how many more years can i spend on another relationship that will fail? I told Adrian that also... There are so many times i had been telling myself that i dun wanna be a 3rd party anymore.... That is why i gets very careful when i deal with attahced guys.... being twice is enough... i dun have the courage to mess up people and my own relationship... that is why.. when i see my friend now.. walking on the same old, familiar road which i had went through made me felt really sad... but at this point of time... i know that no matter how many negative comments the surrounding people gave.. nothing can change her mind.. unless she chose to leave.... I can say that i am so used to this kinda secretive relationship that i am abit tired of it... hmm... guess because of that i am suffering from weak heart now.. buahaha.... and not forgetting... introducing a real boyfriend to my family and friends had become a dream which i can be real proud of... guess my relative had not been seeing me bringing some guys to introduce to them after Parry ya... and that was 2 years ago.. just realised that after talking to my sister on some events which happened near the time i broke off with him... so ignoring my 1 year of unhealthy relationships with that 2 idiots... i had not really go on some real date for this long... hmm.. its ok la... this is a routine that will always happen to me... nothing really matters... because... i believe i wont do stupid things which involve any unhealthy relationships anymore... wahahaha!!!