I miss you...

I miss you~

Saw a kid ridding a bicycle yesterday... It reminds me so much of you... It seems like yesterday you were beside me.. teaching me how to ride a bicycle... The memories we shared were so limited.. Some times i can't help thinking if you are still around.. Who will i be now? I am a spoiled brat.. If you are still around.. I maybe a notorious spoiled brat... Maybe i will get all i want or anything i desired... I may not be as understanding and matured... My temper may not had changed... I may still be as rude to you... I can't help thinking.. If i did not speak to you that rudely that afternoon.. If i would call you 3 times a week.. If i talk to you more... spent more times with you.. took more photos with you... I had lost the last present you had bought for me... Mummy had thrown away all the teddy bears you had bought for me.. The only thing i have with me now is the photo which i had took with you when i was 4... This year.. is the 13th year without you.. Maybe if you are still around.. she may not be who she is now.. she need not have to live in loneliness and shut herself from her family.. I had been rude to her.. because i was so worried about her and her stubborness had made me angry... I know that i can't spend alot of time with her.. i had been using busy as an excuse...

I can still remember how tired i was during the 3 days funeral...how my dad got so angry with your family... I admit that sometimes.. i can hardly recall how you look like... i still miss you alot.. you like to bring me out for breakfast every sunday morning.. I had been going on a long term diet since my relative said i was fat 3 years ago... Can you see that i am a grown up now? Will you ever see me in heaven? I don't even see you in my dreams.. Can you see my performances on stage? I had learnt how to ride a bicycle 1 year after you left... I am still as clumsy.. i can't stop falling from the bicycle and even lost my way at Pulau Ubin... Do you know that the stubborn me had almost caused me to lose my family? I can't forget the accident... I wanna know what happen.. I was too young at that time.. I still remember that evening when i was preparing for dinner... If you are still around.. I know you will be proud to see i am now... If one can ever turn back time.. I will not allow you to go to work that day... I will spend more time talking to you.. play with you.. I miss you~