Not "temper-less"

Discovered that i am not "TEMPER-LESS" after all... i was in the "bad mood" mode this morning and is trying very very hard to control my emotions since yesterday night... Had not been able to give myself some pleasent dreams since a few days ago... And guess what happen this morning.. I seriously wonder izzit becoz of my bad mood or my friend simply misunderstood my words that caused all these anger incurring inside me... My friend was asking whether i will be going for her party next month end or not... And of coz as a fun-loving me will not wanna miss out any of my friend's party.. After i had given her my reply... i said luckily her party was not at the end of Sept (coz i will be out of town).. Wonder did i said the wrong thing and she replied me that her party was at teh end of Aug.. And sent me replying her ya.. its Aug not Sept.. Lucky...
And wonder did i sent the wrong message to her that she replied me something like this... "I juz wanna confirm the numbers.. its ok if you cant make it.. all my good frenz will be there..." Well.. as a rational me i would not wanna rub into this sentence that will cause "fire".. I changed the topic.. The more i think of this the angrier i am.. So since i m not her "good friend" that means.. I am juz a friend to be added into her numbers of people in the party.. so it sets me thinking again... Did i send her the wrong message? Or izzit becoz of my stupid mood that i am easily agitated...?

Sometimes....

Feel like blogging again.. Haiz.. first mistake of today... forgot to attend a briefing at customer site... I forgot that today is 25 July.. I thought its 24th... and i missed the briefing at 2pm... And was asked at around 5pm... suddenly feel like quitting again... This happens everytime i wanna escape from problems... I know that i cant.. thats why i wanna do well in this job... Suddenly dun quite like sales job.. Buahaha... But this job gave me alot of time currently... I hope it will get better.. otherwise.. it will turn out to be like the other colleagues prediction.. I will leave the moment i get my degree.... coz i still feel that i like to do SCM jobs... planning and controlling of inventories.. Some where i can apply my knowledge and what i am good on... But one thing i like about my job is that they pay very good money.... and its very flexi here... but becoz i am a sales person... I realise that sometimes my thinking will clash with my managers.... As a SCM personnel.. My thinking is always on how to do the most thing with the least amount of cost... Some things my managers do just doesn't bring in much profits for the company... and i think that they will spoil the customers with the way they do the things... I still have bout half a year to see how things can be done... Hopefully.. everything turns out fine.. otherwise... i seriously duno wat kinda horrible things will happen...

W-H-Y

Something came across my mind n i decided 2 blog about it.. i discovered that there are quite a number of people who said that they dun wanna fall in love again after being hurt badly by an ill fated relationship... First question i asked myself is.. Why are people shutting themself out from something which who knows they might enjoy in future??? Well its not that i can accept someone else now... Juz that i wont stop myself from falling in love again.... I know its painful and hard to build up the trust.. But that doesnt mean that we have to shut ourselves up after being hurt...dats ridiculous... I admit that i cant fall in love now coz i had not got over the feelings i had for S.. and at the same time i m giving K a chance.. I am also giving myself a chance...
Another thing i wanna blog today is regarding my saturday.. Oh my gosh! he gave me a bouquet of flowers! Its the second time i receive flowers and finally got the right bouquet... but not from the right person.... Though the things he had done that particular day can be quite touching for a gal to judge a guy.. But... the normal hard hearted me juz dun feel anything..

Bye QS

QS left for Aussie yesterday again.. haiz... I really hate to see her leave everytime.. Actually only for the second time.. First time she left i told myself she will be back i shall not cry... and i realised how much i missed her during that few months before she return or her vacation... Yesterday.. honestly i cried.. after seeing her mum cried.. suddenly i remembered our conversation that saturday night during dinner... She said she really dun bear to leave this time... coz she really missed her family and friends.. and how helpless she felt when i sent her an email telling her how tormented i was over that breakoff and begging her to return.. She just felt that she cant be there for us when we needed her the most... I cried.. because i was afraid that when she return during september i will be flying or worse.. not in Spore... We did not spend alot of time together coz she was so busy with alot of friends and most importantly her family... She hugged me and asked me not to do the wrong thing again.... I knew that i was not a very sensible person.. That's why she can be quite worried bout me... This morning when i wake up... I missed QS again... But i know she willbe back.. and i will not allow any tears to roll down my cheeks coz she will be back....

No longer...

I no longer hope to find a person i love... I no longer hope to own an exciting love life... I no longer hope to get anything...
I wish for a a person who will love me the way i love him... I wish for a simple love life with only simplicity... I wish for my wishes to come true...
As me the difference.. when you hope you know you will get it.. which is just a matter of time.. when you wish... you might not get it... but at least you wish for one....
Absolute rubbish.... By Rubbish cow...

For the first time...

Buahaha.. today is the first time i ever met a customer... Went to cust fab and met her.. but most of the time Adrian is the one doing the talking... lucky... Think my way of talking is to straight forward.. gotta pick up the way to dig info fast.. Not a trained sales yet.. so no choice.. Thomas commented that my make up today is nice.. Hahaha!! though its a bit thick.. but its better dan nothing la.. Ethyl had been kaypoing when i was putting on my make up.. but its ok la.. she everytime do it... nothing much special... Adrian and i were talking bout songs when we were on or way to and from customer fab... Hahaha!! he got the song i like!!! He let me listened to this song "Green day"(duno whether i got the title right or not).. Its talking bout a break up... Its like saying its all over... So just let it go.. And i replied that its usually this period that hurts alot... Honestly it still hurts me alot.. though it had been a month.. Everything seems like yesterday.. I dun wanna numb myself with something... Sometimes, people will advise that a new relationship will do me good... Its not like nobody is after me now.. There are a few... but i am just not sure whether i am prepared or not.. I dun want to treat the person as a replacement...

Moo~day

Haiz.. Its the first day of the week and guess what did i ask myself the first thing i wake up this morning??? WHY DID I DREAM OF HIM?????!!!!!!!!!!! Oh gosh! in the dream.. he was talking to me in the kinda eyes which he used to see me with... I can feel his touch.. It was so gentle... Oh my.. Oh my... What am i thinking...??? I remembered wat QS told me over dinner on saturday... Maybe i had forced myself too much.. And its not good coz pulling a string too hard will break it... Argh!!! I wanna get him off my mind... I dun wanna think of him... I wanna get on with my life and get it simple...
Forget about the unhappy things... say something bright.. I got myself a printer yesterday... hehe... i think i am gonna get myself a Canon digi cam in future also.. haiz.. gotta wait... but at least with this printer i can print my project and get it done...

Updates

Hmm.. Seems like i had not been updating the blog.. ok.. let meadd in some spices which had happened recently.. Went to the zoo on saturday.. woah... like wat QY had mentioned in her blog.. I think we are not welcome to go to the zoo anymore.. Think most probably will be thrown out by the keepers... Heres wat we had done.. As all frenz should noe taht i have such talent in renaming everything in that instant.. Guess wat had i done that day.. I named the white tigers "xiao bai".. The green snakes "xiao qing".. A baboon "zhang lao".. We even discussed whether the fish taste nicer by which cooking method (steam or fry)... buahaha... how fat we will get if we eat the hippo... Trying our bez 2 wake the animals which are asleep.. But one thing i never say out is that i had renamed the kangaroos "kangie"... Jealous of my talent?? Buahaha... And!! i finally took a pic wif my cow!!! The cows were at first sleeping but i tred to wake them up and talk to me... Well... I wonder izzit my cow language works.. Its does make a lil wonders.. One of the moo actually walk out from the shelter and let me take pic wif it.. hahaha!!! MOO~